Sunday, September 29, 2013

You're judging me...for that?!

Most people who have known me for a while, or at least 5 minutes, knows I've done/do much shit of a questionable nature that attracts the raised eyebrow of the socially pretentious. Usually I don't really care, because if they do judge, I don't actually have to hear about it. I'm surprised I haven't received a tongue lashing quite frankly. I think it's because I'm so sweet and nice. And pretty :)
But at the coffee shop, I was judged hardcore. Lemme set the scene. This was on my tip jar:

Like cocaine, once you get one of those babies under your skin, you always come back for more. 

Got that little sign in your head? Ok, so here's how it went down:

So, this older gentleman comes in and orders a Mexican mocha. He wants to know what is in it. 
Me: "Chocolate, cinnamon, nutmeg..." 
Judger: "Peppers?" 
Me: "No." 
Judger with a look of grave disappointment: "Oh. Do you have peppers?"
Me: "No." 
Judger: *heavy sigh and eye roll* "Ok, that's fine." 
So I have already dashed his hopes and crushed his dreams. 


Judger, reading my sign, eyebrows raised in question. It's obviously a test: "You're not really getting a tattoo, are you?" 
Me: "I already have seven." 
Judger, with much judgement: "Okkkaaaay. I guess I'll support your tattoo fund..." *reluctantly tips me*
In his defense, he was a judgemental throwback to when only sailors, bikers, and prison inmates had tattoos. Apparently, he wasn't aware that pretty much every lawyer and their doctor mother has tattoos now. Can't blame him for that. 
I told my story to our beloved local artist, Don Nisbett, who has a place of honor at our couch every morning and I pointed out I just can't please everyone. He pondered if I actually try. Touche. So then he "tattooed" my arm:
What exactly are you saying, Don?

And then...

Customer: "Is someone trying to talk you into getting a tattoo?"
Seriously? Do people not notice I have two clearly visible on my forearm?
Me: "No, there's really no 'talking' me into it. I already have seven."
Customer, obviously trying to recover: "Oh, but is someone trying to talk you into getting more?"
Me, with great understanding because obviously these are not tattoo people: "You can't really 'talk' me into something I already want to do. They're addicting."

I never thought I would be judged by having tattoos. Questionable morals? Sure. Drunk texting? Of course. Overuse of the word 'fuck'? Understandable. Using my cleavage to get more tips? Maybe. But tattoos? Perhaps it's a generational thing. Tattoos used to adorn persons of dubious character and I can understand how it might be difficult for some people to get over that stereotype. However, one would hope those passing the judgement might be polite enough to keep their opinions and raised eyebrows to themselves. Chalk it up to a new experience for me. I started thinking that this incident might be an introduction to an interesting social experiment where I put controversial signs on my tip jar and record people's reactions. Give me a sense on the people I'm dealing with here. I have a few ideas I'm tossing around:

"Bail Money"
"We All Make Mistakes"
"I Can Quit Anytime"
"Almost Enough to Get Into Heaven!"
"Turns Out Abortions Aren't Cheap"

I think there's a good chance I would have waaaaay too much fun with this.